The Red-Herring Theory by John Updike

There's something fishy going on here...

Richard and Joan Maple are downright insufferable—and yet, I can’t stop reading about them. This a testament to the magic of Updike's writing. His ability to craft deeply flawed yet painfully real characters is nothing short of remarkable. He writes with such sharpness and empathy that even at their worst, the Maples feel achingly relatable. Their flaws and contradictions are unsettlingly familiar. More impressively, Updike takes the quotidian of suburban life (dinner parties, idle gossip, lingering resentments, etc) and transforms it into something layered, authentic, and unexpectedly profound.

The Maples’ marriage is a battlefield, their conversations a series of carefully placed landmines. In The Red-Herring Theory, we witness one of their signature psychological chess matches, cleverly disguised as casual post-party chatter. After hosting a house full of friends, they sit together, debriefing the evening. It’s an exercise in manipulation, an opportunity to push buttons and test boundaries, especially when it comes to their long-running theme of infidelity. Updike grants the reader a front row seat as the couple deftly circle each other, feigning innocence while laying subtle traps. 

That’s when Joan drops her "red herring" theory:

|"The properly equipped suburban man… has a wife, a mistress, and a red herring. The red herring may have been his mistress once or she may become one in the future, but he's not sleeping with her now. You can tell, because in public they act as though they do."|

It’s a classic Joan move in passive aggression and Richard, as always, takes the bait. The story becomes a battle of wits, a kind social deduction game where they are waiting for the other to slip up and confess to their transgressions. It’s exhausting, but also wickedly entertaining. Updike’s dialogue crackles with wit, making the mind games between Richard and Joan feel like high art. Love them or hate them (probably both), it’s messy, dramatic, and impossible to look away, like a fiery car crash.