Auto-da-Fé by Roger Zelazny

El Matador: Eduardo...Carroccio!

Coming at you today with a truly bizarre little tale. Auto-da-Fé by Roger Zelazny appears in Harlan Ellison’s famous sci-fi/speculative fiction anthology Dangerous Visions. I have been slowly working my way through this hefty tome and had been meaning to read Zelazny for years, so this felt like the perfect opportunity. In hindsight, maybe not the ideal introduction because I mostly walked away feeling bewildered.

The story is framed as a nostalgic reflection on a thrilling childhood memory: the day a legendary El Matador named Manolo Stillette Dos Muertos (an impressively regal name, I must say) comes out of retirement for one final performance. Only this isn’t your traditional bullfight. Manolo isn’t facing off against a raging bull with a flowing red muleta. Instead, he’s armed with wrenches and screwdrivers, bravely defending himself against aggressive, sentient cars. Yes, you read that correctly. Sentient cars. 

Zelazny tells this absurd premise with total seriousness, using highly stylized, almost reverent prose that would feel at home in an epic or a myth. The author clearly has a knack for elegant, confident prose. For example, the matador is poetically described as having "pistons in his thighs", "gasoline and methyl in his blood and his heart was a burnished pump ringed 'bout with desire and courage." The lofty tone never winks at the reader, even as the scenario becomes increasingly ridiculous. That deadpan commitment makes the whole thing feel like a parody of heroic tradition. 

As for the takeaway? I’m still not entirely sure. Auto-da-Fé plays like a satire that’s more interested in skewering tone and convention than delivering a tidy moral. It’s strange, silly, and oddly self-serious all at once. While it didn’t fully click for me, I can at least admire the audacity of it.