When Flashers Meet by Pamela Painter

Corn Flakes and flashing don't really go together.

I didn't expect to encounter a short-story involving two shoplifters bonding over kleptomania and their shared propensity for exhibitionism at a grocery store, but there you have it. The narrator is a grieving widow, possibly in her 70s or 80s, and shoplifting makes her feel alive. It gives her excitement, purpose, and apparently a reason to strut around the grocery store like The Dude from The Big Lebowski, wearing her late husband's oversized robe to conceal stolen items, specifically cereal. 

Her grief is mostly masked by abrasiveness and playful humor, which doesn't always land. She eventually ends up feeling like a bumbling amateur after meeting a gentleman in one of the grocery aisles who is capable of concealing an entire rotisserie chicken under his jacket. Now that takes real skill. 

Pamela Painter is another new author for me, and When Flashers Meet is the kind of light, innocuous short story that I was hoping might help pull me out of the reading slump I have been stuck in since January. Unfortunately, it really didn't do much for me. As a piece of flash fiction, the narrative constraints are even tighter to make an impression on the reader than your typical short-story. Unfortunately, it's far too preoccupied with eccentricity over anything else. There are a few amusing moments, but underneath all the quirkiness, there's not much emotional substance. 

It ultimately feels very hollow and pretty forgettable.

You can read this story HERE.